Thursday, 03 March 2011
Over the past few weeks I've had a few people ask me if I was going to to talk about Charlie Sheen's recent uptick in crazy. Aside from getting fired by CBS and dropping out of rehab again, Charlie has been on an interviewing rampage. The result has been an embarassment of insane Charlie Sheen quote riches for all of the tabloid and comic world (that would be me) to enjoy.
So why haven't I talked about this yet?
Because I have standards, that's why!
Charlie Sheen has become such an easy target that it doesn't even seem fun to join in the public flogging. He has become the crazy famous people equivalent of the fattest kid in dodgeball history! Have you ever played a three year old in Scrabble? If you did, and you won, would you take pride in this accomplishment? No, you wouldn't, cause that would make you a dick.
It used to be that Charlie was a fully functioning human being who had tendencies to do crazy shit. To me, a person like that is fair game. Things are different now. This dude is full blown, mentally deranged, insane in the membrane crazy! The only reason we are making fun of him is because he is not a real person to us. He has become a charicature of a real person. Would you make fun of your sick crazy uncle like this? Would you go down to your local insane asylum and crack jokes on the patients? No, you wouldn't, cause that would make you a dick.
Now look, I get why people are talking about this. Some of the stuff he has been saying over the last few weeks has just been too good. It's like watching a car crash, mixed with a fireworks display, mixed with a really good porno. NO WAY YOU ARE LOOKING AWAY FROM THAT! But once something has been said ad nauseum, what point is there in saying it again.
I've been watching all these late night comics use Charlie Sheen quotes over and over again, and yes some of them have been amusing. Its hard not to crack a smile when someone is saying stuff like...
"I'm tired of pretending like I'm not special. I'm tired of pretending like I'm not bitchin', a total freakin' rock star from Mars."
"I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available because if you try it, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body."
Here's the thing about people like Davd Letterman and Jimmy Kimmel cracking jokes about this stuff. Its not Jimmy Kimmel making me laugh. The quotes do all the work for him. Its like George W. Bush all over again. Make a funny voice, repeat the quote, and BOOM, instant joke. I can't tell you how many comedians I've seen use this formula without any hesitation. Would you take someone else's term paper and put your name on it? Would you be okay receiving accolades and praise for their work? No, you wouldn't, cause that would make you a dick.
Are you starting to see a theme here? Have you gotten the moral of the story? If not, well I guess you're just a dick.